We Are Not Going Back to Normal. Because Normal Isn’t There Anymore

We plan to be back in our apartment by next weekend, as soon as the decorators are finished.

The low-information, low-IQ ICPs (Intellectually Challenged Persons — I have been told I should come up with a more graceful way of referring to them than “idiots,” which is my preference) who are taking to the streets demanding that someone somewhere throw a switch and start the economy running like it used to, have not looked over their shoulders. The economy they walked out of just a few weeks ago isn’t there any more.

With nearly half of all American workers in serious trouble the first week of May — having severe difficulty paying rent, mortgages, credit-card and other debt, auto loans, health care and even food — the pain is only beginning. With the unemployment insurance systems overwhelmed, the first wave of a tsunami of state and local government layoffs is just now beginning.  Continue reading

On Counting Alligators and Germs

How many alligators do you see? Okay, how many are there in the world? Give up? You should.

A few decades ago, a wildlife magazine for which I was a contributing editor summoned me with great excitement to send me on a landmark assignment. I was to go to Florida and write a piece on the delisting of the American Alligator from the federal endangered species list. It was the first animal to be delisted, and a rare success for the entire conservation movement. I was an intrepid correspondent, and never declined a chance to go to Florida on an expense account in February, and so off I went. The story would grace the cover of the next issue.

Except the story did not survive the first five minutes of my meeting with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation experts at Lake Okeechobee.  Continue reading

The Next Good War

If it’s true, as somebody said, that you fight your war with the equipment you have, we’re in a lot of trouble next time.

If America, god forbid, should be dragged into another large scale war — or be pushed into it by a president seeking better ratings — there is every reason to think that it will be prosecuted with the same competence, preparedness, and general all-around brilliance  we have just seen brought to bear on the struggle against the coronavirus. That struggle revealed our public health system and our government to be in shambles, utterly unprepared and unequipped and underfinanced to do the job they were created to do.  Continue reading

Armageddon in the Oil Patch

Going into a house that was partially collapsed by an earthquake two days ago and is being consumed by a fire that started this morning, to tell the residents that they also have a serious termite problem, is not fun. It takes a special kind of guy. But I have to say this; while we have been mesmerized by coronavirus and the stock market crash and the shutdown of the entire economy and the onset of a depression, it is also the case that the entire American oil industry is crashing. We will be trying to deal with this long after we again start thinking of beer when we hear the word “corona.”

Don’t take my word for it. “We are on the verge of a major collapse [of the oil industry]” says former energy secretary Rick Perry. “The oil patch is falling apart,” says the mad-hatter investment guru Jim Cramer. When it’s finally getting through to intellectual giants and perpetual cheerleaders such as Perry and Cramer, something is definitely going on.  Continue reading

The Great, 14-year, $20 Million Ventilator Caper

The government ordered ventilators for sick people, and this is what it got. Just kidding. The reality is far worse.

Proposition: Let’s run government like a business, because business doesn’t have waste and fraud and laziness and incompetence like government has. But of course there are some things business simply won’t do because they don’t make any money. So let’s have public-private partnerships, in which government does the things that cost money, and business does the things that make money. What could possibly go wrong? Well, let’s see.

In 2006, the Department of Health and Human Services recognized a gaping chink in the country’s armor against infectious illness. It estimated that to deal with a moderate influenza pandemic, it would need 70,000 more ventilators than it had. Now, no business is going to buy machines that it won’t be able to use until some future emergency because, why would you? Yet the government saw the need. Continue reading

Free Enterprise Meets the Virus. And It Ain’t Free

Joe Biden and his fellow Republicrats have vowed to protect us from Bernie Sanders and his threats to take away our beloved health insurance policies, forgetting to mention that what Sanders actually proposes is replacing them with a far superior and cheaper policy. The people who don’t support Medicare for All seem to be members of two groups: healthy people who believe that they will never get sick, and comfortably employed people whose employer takes care of the hassle of providing them with health insurance, and who seem to believe they will never lose or change jobs.

Now comes Mr. Coronavirus to demonstrate two truths: you might well get sick when you least expect it; and you might lose your job when you least expect it; and both those things could happen at the same time. About half of all Americans depend on employer-sponsored health insurance. Last week — last week — 3.3 million people filed for unemployment insurance. An historic number of people, more than ever recorded in a single week, lost their jobs, their income and their health insurance in the middle of a deadly pandemic. That was just the first bad week, with many worse weeks to come.

Even if you still have your health insurance, getting the coronavirus could break you. Not to worry, says the Tweeter in Chief, the for-profit insurance companies have generously agreed to waive co-payments for coronavirus testing and treatment. How splendid of them, that’s a big hit to take for the team. Except they didn’t. As their trade organization said almost immediately after the president’s grand announcement, “Like hell!” (I’m paraphrasing, but the sentiment was clear.) They were prepared to give people a break on the testing, but not the treatment. That would have involved real money.

So rest assured, besieged Americans, that while your business is closed, your income is gone, your children are marooned at home, your rent and car payment are coming due, even with all this there are plenty of American companies gorging themselves on profits derived from your misfortune. Thank God we don’t live in a socialist country.

Death Row for Corporations: Getting Crowded

We used to do this to horse thieves. How about executing a few corporations? (Photo by Joe Hall/Flickr)

In June of 2011, in a post titled Capital Punishment for Corporations: Time to Start, I wrote the following:

The Supreme Court of the United States has ruled that corporations are citizens, their money is speech, and their right to buy politicians with their money is protected by the Constitution. If they are persons, in these respects, then why should their lives not be forfeit when they commit horrific crimes? We kill people who kill people, don’t we? And if we’re going to start meting out capital punishment to corporations, and I hope we are, I have some nominations for who goes first:

I am still very much of that opinion, and I have a new list of candidates for a corporate Death Row: Continue reading

SoftBank: Blindsided by a Virus

“Everything was going great. Then I got this bug.” SoftBank

Everything bad that happens over the next several months will be blamed on the coronavirus. This will be done by the usual gaggles of amnesiac journalists and pols, who think history is what happened last week, and especially by their bosses, the industrialists who brought us globalization, climate change, morbid wealth for the chosen few and deaths of despair for the rest of us.

A few titanic train wrecks ago, the people of the criminal enterprise Enron celebrated themselves as the smartest people in the room because they figured out how to steal electricity from poor Peters in one part of the country to sell at a stiff markup to rich Pauls somewhere else. Today the malefactors don’t even pretend to be smart.

SoftBank is the criminal enterprise I have in mind. In the first place, who names a bank soft, as in soft touch? A better message would be conveyed, I would think, by calling it the hard-ass bank. But then we find out it’s not a bank, it’s a wealth management company.

My favorite person’s favorite coffee brand is “Chock Full O’ Nuts,” which features a label next to, and almost as big as, the brand name that says, “Contains No Nuts.” So the art of draining the last drop of meaning from our language for purposes of manipulation is not new. It’s just more advanced. And depraved. Continue reading

Apocalypse Now?

Pandemic — the board game. The perfect gift for the sick, the quarantined, the home-schoolers and the unemployed.

So is this it? Is this the beginning of the long-expected crash of the industrial world? Don’t think for one minute that I am cheering it on, I fear it as much as anyone. But what we are seeing today (Monday, March 16) is far more than a perfect storm.

  • The coronavirus threat is grinding the economic life of the country to a halt. At a time when nearly half the population is living paycheck-to-paycheck, the places where they get their paychecks are closing until further notice. The half of the population that depends on schools to feed and house their children so they can work have just been told the schools are closed until further notice. As have the parents of many — the number increases daily — of the 30 million children who rely on the schools for two meals a day.

Continue reading